“I wish I was smarter.”
“I wish I had done a better job in my relationship.”
“I wish I could be as pretty as her.”
“I wish I could have as many talents as that person.”
“I wish… I wasn’t me..”
We live in a world where talented people are the center of spotlight. The statement just now is not fully true, but for some of us that is the reality.
Have you ever felt that you are not as good as others and you wish you were a different person so people will love you more? Have you wished that you had done better in your past so now you wouldn’t be this miserable? Or have you wished that you were better in any aspect of your life?
If you think yes in any of above questions, let me tell you that you are not alone.
And I would like to ask you to do a favor. A favor for yourself. Not for me, not for your families and friends or even your spouse. But for YOURSELF.
Human needs acknowledgement from others. That is a truth that cannot be changed. It can come from your teacher, friend, parents, loved one, or even a stranger. We want to be acknowledged.
How many times have you done something to please your parents so they can say “I am proud of you?”?
How many times have you worried about your clothes? Maybe that white T-shirt will make you look better? Or maybe this one with that jeans?
Or how many times have you become so obsessed with success so one day people will talk about how great and amazing you are?
There are many more examples and stories of people who are so addicted with acknowledgement. And I can tell you that it is not a pleasant life. It is not easy to live in a life like that. They may be able to get what they want: success, wealth or fame. And they might get what they need: acknowledgement. But that won’t last for long.
Let us pause for a moment and ask ourselves a question:
“When was the last time you say ‘thank you’ to yourself?”
A month? A year? 5 years? Or maybe never?
You might think that is the last thing you would do in your life because it sounds crazy to talk to yourself, or even thanking yourself. Because you might think that only people who have some loose screw in their head talk to themselves. But let me tell you that it is absolutely normal to have a conversation with yourself. Obviously you don’t have to do it in public. One thing for sure: Get to know yourself!
Why do we have to ‘thank’ ourselves?
Nothing hurts yourself more than you hating yourself.
When you hate someone, it means that you reject them to some degree. It works the same way with yourself. When you hate yourself, you basically reject who you are. And I don’t think that is a nice thing to be done to yourself.
A friend of mine who is a designer once told me that it is hard to make people like what you make if you don’t like what you make. Why? Because if you don’t like it, the thing that you created has just lost the foundation of its existence. Basically, if you don’t like it, how do you expect others to like it?
So stop hating yourself. Appreciate what you have done up until now. Say ‘thank you’ to yourself every once in a while. If you don’t know how, go to the nearest mirror, look into yourself eye to eye and tell yourself “thank you” from the bottom of your heart.
Once you have done that, depending on how deep your situation currently is, you will feel that a big burden has been lifted of your shoulder. Why? Because the truth is, you yourself have been waiting to be acknowledged and appreciated by yourself. Period.
What if I don’t deserve that appreciation or acknowledgement?
One thing that you have to know in this life: You are a work in progress. God doesn’t expect you to excel in every aspect of your life after you receive Christ. Life is a process and journey of learning. So don’t be too harsh on yourself. I know that life is hard and though. A lot of bad things happen, but so do good things. At the very least acknowledge all the good things that have happened until now.